Lost Between Worlds

This was my first trip to my hometown without a dad to visit (memorial services notwithstanding). It felt upside down and incomplete, like holding a glass to your lips and expecting one drink, but finding yourself instead tasting another. The two flavors — one a ghost, the other your reality — at odds between your brain and your tongue as you fight to understand: What tyranny is this?

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CREATING A BABY REGISTRY: Bottle Basics (Part 7 of 7)

Much like diapers, some bottles will work great for one kid, but not for others. This is another item where stocking up on one brand beforehand could backfire. Or maybe not: babies are unpredictable beasts. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a perfect angel who’ll be chill with anything you put in front of them. If that’s unlikely to be you, read on.

Questions to Consider When Adding Bottles To Your Registry

  1. What sort of breast pump are you using? If you’d prefer to save on bags by pumping directly into a bottle, which brand of bottles will fit your breast pump without needing a special adapter?
  2. Do you want glass or plastic? Both have their pros and cons. Glass is heavy and breakable but less likely to leach potentially toxic chemicals; plastic is a leach risk, but it's lighter for transport and safer when dropped.
  3. Do you want bottles that can be useful beyond the bottle-feeding years? If so, look for brands that offer sippy cup adapters, straw adapters, caps for storage, etc.
  4. 4 oz or 8 oz? That's honestly a question I still can't really answer. We registered for both but there was only a small window – as my daughter approached one-year-old – where we used the 8 oz bottles. But I have friends who had the reverse problem: they only used 4 oz bottles for the newborn stage. It will depend on your child, as well as at what age and how often you will use bottles.

What did we get?
We stocked up on Life Factory bottles – motivated primarily by a desire to avoid the chemicals in plastic – but when I returned to work and bottles were about to become part of our daughter’s daily life, she didn’t want to touch the Life Factory nipples. It was too late to return them, so I wound up using those to store pumped breast milk (the tops fit my Medela breast pump perfectly), though we had to try multiple other brands to find one our fake nipple-averse daughter would drink from.

We eventually found a winner in Avent, which has more “lifelike” nipples and – as luck would have it – also has a glass option. Avent also offers straw sippy cups that fit any of their bottles. I just wish they sold the straw sippy cup tops separately from the plastic bottles, and that the straw that goes into the bottle was silicone instead of plastic. We wound up building a Frankenstein's monster for a straw sippy cup, using our 8 oz. glass Avent bottles, the top from the Avent straw sippy cup and the silicone straw that came with this cup. I'm still waiting for the perfect, non-toxic sippy cup to be designed and kinda wish I had the means to patent and produce one, because I have a pretty nifty design in mind.

 

 


If we could do it all over, what would we get?
Avent and Life Factory both have their pros and cons. If I'd known my kid would reject Life Factory nipples for 3-4 weeks, I would’ve only purchased Avent bottles, nipples and caps – and an adapter for my breast bump. But if Life Factory works for your child, I’m a fan of that brand: they fit Medela pumps nicely; we still use them with these caps today to store milk and leftover food; and they offer nifty sippy cup adapters to help increase each bottle’s lifespan. Plus, I love that each one already comes in a silicone sleeve to make it easier for little hands to hold onto (and to help prevent glass from breaking should it be thrown to the ground in a fit of infantile rage). Avent doesn’t offer that (you can, however, buy a Velcro sleeve – a sleeve my daughter was pulling off by eight months).

CREATING A BABY REGISTRY: The Diaper Dilemma (Part 6 of 7)

Fitted cloth diapers aren't pretty when they're soiled, but they're brilliant when it comes to ease of use. Most of ours were made using OsoCozy prefolds.

Fitted cloth diapers aren't pretty when they're soiled, but they're brilliant when it comes to ease of use. Most of ours were made using OsoCozy prefolds.

THE DIAPER DILEMMA
Choosing diapers was a debacle unto itself. I spent so many painstaking hours researching this, in large part because I wanted something that was eco-friendly, easy and effective. Many systems are good in one or two areas, but it’s tough to find one that excels at all three. And diapers, like bottles, are something that can be unique to the child: how they fit, how well they absorb your progeny’s particular brand of excrement, etc. In other words: what works for one kid might not work for another.

Tips for Adding Diapers To Your Registry

  1. Narrow your search down to 2-3 types you’re interested in, and register for just one or two packages of each in size newborn and/or size 1 (depending on your child’s birth weight, you might never need “newborn” size; you and your doctor will be the best judge of that).
  2. Ask for gift cards to help you purchase more post-partum.
  3. Try them all out, and see what works best for your child before you go “all in” on a brand.

What did we get?
We registered for a combination of pre-fold diapers, inserts, diaper covers for both, and Bambo Nature disposable diapers (they had the best rating we could find in terms of a balance between eco-friendliness and effectiveness).

If we could do it all over, what would we get?
We used everything we received until they either ran out or our daughter outgrew them. We now use a combo of cloth inserts and hybrid covers (during the day at home) and eco-friendly Seventh Generation disposables (for night-time and when we’re on the go). This system works for us; we've had very few diaper rashes, and generally if there's a leaky diaper, it's because we didn't change it soon enough.

For cloth, I recommend Flip or LoveMy inserts and Flip insert-friendly hybrid covers. The best part about LoveMy charcoal bamboo inserts is that they don't really show stains (but they absorb just as well as Flip).

For disposables, Seventh Generation diapers worked well for our daughter, but some of our friends haven’t been as pleased. That's why I recommend registering for a few different brands, so you can try multiple varieties to see what works best for your baby before you go “all in” on a brand for two years.

Thoughts on Cloth

  1. If you want to go the cloth route, but you aren’t sure which type, register for covers that are versatile. In other words: consider hybrid covers like Flip that will work for pre-folds, fitted diapers AND inserts. That way when your kid outgrows their first batch of pre-folds and fitted diapers, you still have plenty of covers if you wind up going all-in on inserts (many inserts will fit from 7-8 pounds until you're ready to potty train).
  2. I honestly don’t get the appeal of pocket or all-in-one cloth diapers. Sure, they're "easy" because they go on and off just like disposables (only difference is you wash them instead of throwing them away). But once your baby soils the diaper, you have to wash the entire system. It's a waste of water and electricity, and you have to purchase a ton just to have enough diapers for a week.
  3. Pre-folds are great if you have a knack for origami OR have an awesome sister – as I do – who has them transformed into fitted diapers so they’re just as easy to use as disposables (you'll still need a plastic cover though, which is why they are not the same thing as an all-in-one system). I didn’t even know fitted diapers were an option, and I was pretty blown away when I saw the pre-folds we registered for had been sewn into fitted diapers. We used them religiously until our daughter outgrew them (at around 18 pounds).
  4. We love inserts. They're a little more prone to leaks than traditional diapers – that’s the primary downside – but they’re so easy to use, and you can minimize leaks by making sure your cover is on properly (and you stay on top of diaper changes).
  5. If you decide to use cloth diapers, either in part or entirely, you'll want to add two key things to your registry: a spray nozzle that easily hooks into your toilet's plumbing and a splatter shield. Together, these items make cleaning #2 off of diapers way less daunting.

How To Save On Disposable Diapers
Diapers – especially the eco-friendly options – are crazy expensive. For awhile there, we’d stock up whenever we saw Seventh Generation on sale at Target. Then we realized we could save a ton more, and not have to worry about running out, if added diapers to our monthly Amazon Subscribe & Save order. They offer diapers at a 20% discount when you sign up using that method, and though I get frustrated by the fluctuating prices (you have to monitor Amazon like a hawk for surprise price jumps), overall Subscribe & Save has been, by far, the cheapest way for us to get diapers.

CREATING A BABY REGISTRY: Car Seats & Strollers (Part 5 of 7)

When my husband and I were looking for a stroller, we wasted a lot of time and energy finding the "right" one before we realized we had neglected one key qualifier: our limited trunk space. Once we realized car size was something we needed to be more cognizant of, we wound up basing our decision solely on that and later regretted our decision.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

Will the stroller fit in my car trunk?
We have a small car and quickly realized our favorite strollers wouldn’t fit. Side Note: Props to the staff at Buy Buy Baby for letting us try so many. Their assistance was of truly heroic proportions, and we highly recommend a visit to their store (there's almost always some sort of coupon to help make car seat/stroller purchases less painful).

What sort of surface will we use the stroller on?
Is your home surrounded by a gravel pit? How bumpy are your sidewalks? How OK are you with seeing your newborn child’s head bouncing up and down as you attempt a leisurely stroll? Point is: if you anticipate mostly smooth surfaces, you can choose pretty much any stroller. If the road to your home is lined with chunky gravel and uneven sidewalks, you might want to limit your search to strollers with inflatable tires – and ignore all of those hard plastic “wheels.” Inflatable tires can go flat if you run over a nail, sure, but they handle bumps far more smoothly. Those hard plastic wheels, on the other hand, are a first-time (i.e. worrywart) parent’s nightmare.

This photo depicts a parenting fail: the car seat is touching the front seat. Once we realized the error, we had to move the car seat to the passenger side, which rendered our front passenger seat completely useless for anyone over 5'5.

This photo depicts a parenting fail: the car seat is touching the front seat. Once we realized the error, we had to move the car seat to the passenger side, which rendered our front passenger seat completely useless for anyone over 5'5.

Once the car seat is installed in the backseat, do we still have legroom in the front seat?
The answer to this question, for us, was a resounding “no.” And I say again: get thee to a Buy Buy Baby or comparable store. The people there are amazing, and will assist as you try out car seat after car seat.

Does your diaper bag fit into the stroller's storage compartment? How about groceries?
Some strollers have ample storage. Others: not so much. But whether you’re just trying to get in some steps or run a series of errands, a large storage compartment can come in handy. Unless your diaper bag is made out of clouds, do you really want it draped over your shoulder for a 45-minute walk?

What are the safety ratings for the car seat?
You can find out here. Keep in mind, too, that car seats expire (typically within five years of its manufacture date). If you're buying a car seat second hand, make sure it isn't set to expire before you're done using it.

Do I want to jog with my stroller?
If the answer is "yes," that will definitely impact the type of stroller you get. Keep in mind, though, that you shouldn't jog with your baby until they can hold their head up. Restrictions will vary by model, so you'll want to pay close attention to those before jogging with your baby in tow.

Don't let this photo fool you: the Chicco Bravo Trio Travel system does not work well on sand (we had to carry it to this location for our daughter to see the lake). Plus, the tray shown here must be ordered separately.

Don't let this photo fool you: the Chicco Bravo Trio Travel system does not work well on sand (we had to carry it to this location for our daughter to see the lake). Plus, the tray shown here must be ordered separately.

WHAT WE GOT
We have a Chicco Bravo Trio Travel System along with the optional tray (why you have to purchase the tray separately is beyond me). The car seat was great (we got it primarily because of the safety ratings). The stroller we weren’t as happy with. It has a nice-sized compartment for your diaper bag, groceries, etc. And it’s one of few strollers that we could fit in our trunk. But the hard plastic wheels aren’t so great on gravel, sand and bumpy/patchy sidewalks. Our driveway is gravel, so just getting our newborn to a sidewalk was a pain those first couple months (I kept imagining her underdeveloped brain rattling up against her skull with every bump). Sadly, we weren’t thinking about driveway surfaces, sidewalk conditions and mushy brains when we decided on a stroller. Please: learn from our mistake.

IF WE COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, WHAT WOULD WE GET?
In hindsight, we wish we’d gotten just the Chicco KeyFit 30 Car Seat, a Bumbleride Indie stroller and a car seat adapter (Bumbleride was one of few highly-rated systems with inflatable tires that was rumored to fit into our Matchbox car). But Bumbleride was out of our price range, which is why we decided against it (a decision we regretted from the very first moment we attempted to take our baby for a walk). If you won’t encounter much gravel, the entire Chicco Bravo Trio Travel System is decent for the price. And the car seat, if memory serves me, is one of the best rated.

CREATING A BABY REGISTRY: The Not-So Essentials (Part 4 of 7)

THE NOT-SO-ESSENTIALS: THINGS WE GOT BUT LATER REALIZED WE DIDN’T NEED

We use an Ubbi, which does a great job trapping odors but is a bear to open, for cloth diapers. And a (too small) simpleshuman for disposables. If we could do it all over again: we'd likely get a larger simplehuman for both.

We use an Ubbi, which does a great job trapping odors but is a bear to open, for cloth diapers. And a (too small) simpleshuman for disposables. If we could do it all over again: we'd likely get a larger simplehuman for both.

Trash Cans Made Just for Diapers
I know these are tremendously popular and frequently appear on registry “must-have” posts elsewhere, but we quickly determined ours to be unnecessary. We opted for an Ubbi – mostly for aesthetic reasons – but friends who have tried both Ubbi and Diaper Genie have since told me they prefer their Diaper Genie. Ubbi can be difficult to open when you have your hands full of poo, whereas Diaper Genie offers a foot pedal for hands-free opening. Beyond that, we realize that when our daughter is no longer wearing diapers, the Ubbi will be useless. We’ll try to sell it, but ultimately we wish we’d just purchased a high quality trashcan with a foot pedal – something that would be easy to open, trap odors, and have a lifespan beyond the 2-3 years your child is in diapers. ­We use a simplehuman in our kitchen and think it would’ve worked well in the nursery, too. If only we’d known.

 


A “Messenger” Diaper Bag
We got a really cool Timbuk2 diaper bag that seemed to be plenty big, but ultimately it was uncomfortable to carry and didn’t seem to have pockets in the right places (it was often bulging every which way and barely buckled when fully packed). We regularly wished we’d gotten a more back-friendly backpack system like this, but we'd already exceeded our bag budget and wound up just using various backpacks we already had.

A Sound Machine Just for the Nursery
A small portable one is cheaper, and you can use it on the road AND at home. Plus, you’ll likely want an air cleaner for baby’s room; those make plenty of white noise and serve a dual purpose.

Baby Powder
We registered for baby powder because, well, who doesn't? But after seeing all of those reports about it causing cancer, we haven’t opened a single one – and our daughter has been just fine without it.

Car Seat Add-Ons
We registered for – and received – car seat head support, strap covers and an arm cushion. Luckily, we realized soon thereafter that car seat add-ons aren't recommended unless they are manufactured by the same brand as the car seat itself. Otherwise, all of those safety ratings for your car seat are rendered null and void, because they haven't been crash tested with those add-ons. So we returned the head support and strap covers but kept the arm cushion (thinking it wouldn't impact safety). We ultimately wished we'd returned the arm cushion too, as it only comes in handy if you're carrying with the nook of your arm. If you want to use your hand, it becomes nearly impossible (and at times dangerous) to grip. 

Wipe Warmers
Huh? Unless you live in Antarctica in a heatless hut, I don't understand why you'd need these. Keep your wipes out of the refrigerator, and you should be good to go.

Poorly Designed Baby Albums
It's so easy to design digital albums through a printer nowadays, but there's something to said for crafting that first baby book by hand. It's fun to have an envelope to store away that first lock of hair, a special sleeve for their hospital bracelet, etc. So while I recommend creating a book by hand using "real" photos, keep in mind the size of the photos you will be printing. We made the mistake of buying a super cute album with one massive design flaw: the area for photos is square but smaller than 4x4, and we have a horrible time cutting down photos to fit without compromising the image.